Link
September 1st, 2012 (the day after Cleveland)
I doubt very very much it's actually Henri saying something there, basically because
he wasn't present in that tour. But I don't know who else it is.
---
After two years Moonsorrow has finally come back to the
States to the delight of all their fans. Along for the ride to North
America is Moonsorrow’s fellow heathens, Metsatöll from Estonia; the
mighty Týr from the Faroe Islands and brothers in arms Korpiklaani. The
last time Moonsorrow toured the States was in 2010 with Finntroll and
Swallow the Sun where they all appeared on the first Finnish Metal Fest.
Since then the men in Moonsorrow have been up to many adventures and
drunken shenanigans and have released a new album titled “Varjoina
Kuljemme Kuollleiden Maassa”. Alcohol was spilled everywhere, dances
were made merry and not a single person was able to escape from the
enchantment of the night. And this written interview is what is left
prior to the massive metal wreckage in Joliet.
All aboard the Moonsorrow tour bus! I had the great privilege of
talking to Ville Sorvali and Marko “Baron” Tarvonen. Occasionally, Henri
Sorvali would stick his two cents in. As soon as I walked into the
nifty tour bus with its flat screen television that I almost smacked my
head on I was offered a beer to console my near death experience. Now
that’s what I call Finnish hospitality! Baron proceeds to complain about
the lack of alcohol and I proceeded to talk about what a beer snob I am
and Ville high-fived me for wanting something stronger then piss water
only to have one of the Moonsorrow men sneak off outside to “borrow”
some pop and steal back their vodka from the Korpiklaani tour bus.
“Shhh!” “They never expected it!” “What they don’t know won’t kill
them.” In the midst of confusion and utter tom foolery is how this
interview begins and ends. It begins with alcohol and ends with alcohol.
The Offering: Hei! (Finnish for Hello)
Marko Tarvonen: Hei!
Ville Sorvali: Hello!
TO: How’s the tour going so far?
MT: Pretty good. It’s very nice, honestly. We started in Canada and
it was a terrific three shows. Yesterday was pretty good in Cleveland.
But it’s only starting now.
TO: I recognize that. First week?
VS: First week.
MT: Anything could happen. Anything CAN happen.
TO: Anything CAN happen? Anything? So will you guys play any tricks on other bands?
MT: Well we’ll have to see for when the tour starts to roll and big
stuff starts happening and of course the last show of course which is
usually the case.
MT: So, uh looking forward to like uh…it’s Saturday for fuck’s sake!
VS and MT together: YEAH!
VS: Damn right. My drink is quite strong.
MT: That’s good!
VS: I accidentally poured a bit too much whiskey.
TO: You accidentally the whole thing?
MT: Now you’re going to play like shit.
VS: No. I’m going to play like an angel.
MT: Alright. Shit for that.
Henri Sorvali: Finally! So you’re going to flap your wings and fly away?
VS: You know I couldn’t fly away.
TO: I’ll just sing Charon’s “Little Angel” while you fly away.
(Ville Sorvali, Marko Tarvonen and Henri Sorvali snort loudly.)
VS: Yep.
TO: How do you guys prepare to get ready for the show?
MT: Like this.
VS: Like this.
TO: Lots of drinking I understand is the Finnish way.
MT: Lots of drinking, less talking.
TO: Less talking?
VS: Yes.
MT: I have to do both now because you’re doing the interview. (Laughs) Other than that I really don’t talk that much.
TO: I’m under the understanding that the more alcohol you give a Finn the more they talk? Is this true?
VS and MT: Yes, this true. (Laughing)
MT: It’s the only way to get the Finns, the Finish man to talk to you.
Moonsorrow laughs together
TO: What about hockey?
MT: No. (Firm No.)
TO: No, hockey?! You guys don’t do hockey? (Disappointed rabid Blackhawks fan)
MT: Yeah, but that’s only screaming!
VS: It’s not pretty.
MT: (screams and imitates a Finnsh hockey fan) GAHHH AHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Tarvonen stand up and flails arms up and down) COME ON!!!!!
TO: How different is touring in Europe in comparison to touring here in North Anmerica?
MT: Better hospitality.
VS: Better alcohol!
MT: Showers!
VS: Russia and all the slavic countries have really bad showers. They’re still living in the medieval ages.
MT: Kind of. The venues here don’t have showers.
TO: I have heard from the band that I’m wearing right now (points to
Turisas shirt) that England has the worst showers in the world.
VS: That’s right. After centuries they still couldn’t figure out how to mix the water. They have got hot and cold in separate.
MT: Separate. Separate taps. I don’t see how that works.
TO: So it really is that bad.
VS: Unbelievably. It’s very medieval.
TO: It is very medieval.
MT: Yeah, it is.
TO: Does it make you miss your sauna?
VS: Everything does. (sigh) I’m missing it right now. I don’t have one but I’m missing it.
MT: You miss sauna?
VS: Yeah, MY sauna!
MT: With this heat outside?
VS: Yes!
MT: I don’t miss sauna. You go outside it’s already a sauna.
VS: You can’t be naked in the public!
TO: Sure you can but, you’ll get arrested.
VS: Yeah, exactly.
TO: You can if you wanted to.
MT: Why do you have such laws in here? Why can’t you be naked?!
TO: Honestly, I don’t want to live here either.
VS: Come to Finland. Actually, I don’t think you can be naked on the streets in Finland either.
MT: You can. Course they’ll give you shit and ask that you to leave. But you can.
TO: Yeah, my Finnish is very limited. I can swear proficiently and say thank you.
VS: That’s enough!
TO: I can say kiitos, perkele, vittu, paska and that’s about it.
VS: Can you order beer?
TO: No I cannot. Do you want to teach me?
VS: Yeah! Olut, kiitos! Actually you don’t have to say the kiitos. Just olut.
TO: Olut.
VS: Yes!
VS & MT: BEER BEER!
MT: Beer! But you have to snap your fingers.
TO: What are you guys listening to currently?
VS: Right now?
TO: Yes.
VS: There is no music playing? (Laughs)
TO: Smart ass! It doesn’t have to be heavy metal? But I mean on your free time what do you listen to?
MT: Psychedelic. Mmmm…shit like drug related shit. Anything you can find.
TO: Techno.
MT: Yeah.
Henri Sorvali, Marko Tarvonen and Ville Sorvali of Moonsorrow
TO: What about you? (Points to Ville)
VS: I’m forced to listen to his bullshit.
(Moonsorrow laughs)
MT: I didn’t ask you.
VS: Unfortunately.
MT: I’m the DJ.
TO: So one day when I was on YouTube I came across Finnish rap and I couldn’t stop laughing.
VS: Finnish rap?
TO: Yes, Finnish rap.
MT: That’s cool.
TO: Can you answer this question? What do Finns have to rap about? How can you be ghetto in Finland?
VS: Things are not a roseberry either for some people. There are a lot of unfortunate people.
TO: Well I understand that. It’s the economy. It’s affecting everyone no matter what country you live in.
VS: But anyway, I think Finish rap is cool.
MT: That is something I can accept. The worst thing. The worst thing
is Finnish reggae. THAT IS HORRIBLE!!!! WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT?!
TO: I thought there was nothing worse than Finnish rap.
MT: They’re pretending to be Caribbean whatever. (snorts)
TO: In the video they were all ghetto like this and riding in a white
low rider car and they had bandanas on their shaven heads and they were
making gang signs and singing in Finnish and dancing with a bunch of
bitch and hoes and putting money in their thongs and tits. They had
bling as big as my head. I just don’t understand why would you want to
be America?
MT: This is a turning point! We’ll never recover!! We must drink more.
(Tour manager enter the tour bus)
VS: We’re going to make you an alcoholic.
MT: I’m already an alcoholic. You made me an alcoholic.
MT: More drinking!
VS: We’ll make you an even more alcoholic. I want to see that part of you.
MT: Who was the one who was having eight shots with Eluveitie?
VS: In where?
MT: I caught them having the pre-ritual shots of vodka before the
show. The only problem is that I could them get them all together so I
would have a shot with four of them and then a shot with two of them and
then a shot by myself. And then three of them?
TO: Is Anna Murphy a light-weight?
MT: Are you fucking kidding me? With a last name like Murphy? That girl pretty much drank everyone under the table.
VS: She’s a hot girl.
Everyone laughs
VS: Where were we?
TO: We were having a tender metal moment.
VS: I’m going to pity you when you have to write all this down.
TO: It’s ok. I live for shit like this. This is soo much better than
asking you guy so what are your influences? What is your band based on?
Why are you called Moonsorrow? I’m sorry you guys don’t want to hear
that.
MT: Yeah, fuck that shit.
VS: We don’t answer those questions.
TO: You don’t want to hear that.
MT: Hell no! We don’t need that shit. No one is interested in that shit.
TO: You’ve heard that a million fucking times.
VS &TM: Yeah! It’s so refreshing.
TO: I like asking different things.
MT: Just don’t ask. Keep it recording. (points to phone)
VS: There you go! The real life of Moonsorrow!!
TO: Who else have you played with? I also like Omnium Gatherum. I think it would be awesome if they toured here.
VS: We have played festivals with them. We have played with lots of bands.
TO: What is the breakfast of campaigns for Finns?
MT: Whiskey and coke!!
TO: Not vodka!
MT: Nope. Whisky and coke.
VS: I love Mojitoes.
TO: I love vodka!
MT: Have you tasted the Fisherman’s and vodka in here?
TO: Nope. But Keijo of Rotten Sound told me to put gummy fish in licorice alcohol.
MT: It’s great.
VS: No. It’s awful!
MT: If you don’t like that we have an even worse version in Finland.
TO: Really?
MT: Yeah, it’s very salty and very licorice.
TO: I don’t like eating licorice but I like drinking it.
VS: I like drinking. In all forms.
MT: They love it in Finland. Salmiakk.
MT: Now we have a question for you?
TO: Shoot.
MT: Don’t you want to hear what we think of our last album? (laughs)
VS: It’s fucking awesome! Epic!
VS: I really have something to say. We clearly got the inspiration for the album from supernatural forces like Darth Vader.
TO: And drinking!
VS: Darth Vader drinking. You have not seen Darth Vader drink.
MT: Anyway, it’s a science-fiction album. Like conception.
VS: Post Christan science fiction. (Laughs)
TO: So no Kalevala, no Vainamoinen.
VS: No, no. They’re all dead. We write music from the times when Vainamoinen was already dead.
MT: So I saw two transformers yesterday. I saw this one crazy
homeless couple dressed up in metal cans and had shinny gunnels and
transformer symbols they made out of duct tape and pieces of aluminum.
TO: That’s weird. I guess that answers the question of what’s the craziest thing you have seen on tour so far.
MT: They were the craziest.
VS: No, I think the guy we saw in New York.
MT: Yeah. You’re right.
VS: He was probably the best out of all of them. Well he was really nice. He looked like Woody Allen. Woody Allen from Hell.
MT: From Hell.
VS: And he had a facial tattoo. You don’t see facial tattoos that
often but then there are some. But then again you don’t see tattoos like
that ever. It looked like he made it himself because it was really bad
quality. He had a bat on his forehead, a spiderweb all over.
TO: Maybe he was in jail.
VS: No, no. It was great. He as a really cool guy.
MT: What a joke! If you’re reading this interview you’re the best.
Because he was coming to the show anyway. Chances are he’s going to read
this or comment about this.
TO: Who did the artwork for the album?
VS: It was a photographer by the name of Juha Arvid Helminen. We had
ideas of the concept album. Every page of the album is part of the
story. So it starts with the cover and ends with the back of it. And we
discussed how the story line goes when I sat down with the photographer.
We made sketches of what happens. So it is more like a movie anyway.
TO: Kittos. Thank you very much for this interview. It was great just hanging out with you guys.
VS: No problem!